Study proves painted toe nails are "sexy."

While in the elevator the other day, a woman said, "That's quite a blister!" and pointed at my foot.

Of course, it wasn't actually a blister - it was a brush burn I received as a result of falling on the corner of 87th and Lexington while wearing a mini-dress and carrying a suitcase.

But the woman was right. That foot was ugly.

And it's even uglier now since I ran ten miles last weekend and failed to realize that I had put my sock on incorrectly.

"Oh my god!" my boyfriend said later that day. "You said I had ugly feet, but look at that!"

But it seems we're not the only ones to get grossed out by bad feet.

According to a new study by Microplane Foot Files, 31% of people think that "poorly maintained feet" are "a turn-off."

In fact, according to the news release headline, these people find unkempt feet to be a "'Toe'-Tal Turn-off."

You know what else is a turn-off?

Elevator (Sm)All Talk.

At least an unchecked ego benefits someone.

Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University had an interesting news release headline today:

Boosting Self-Esteem Can Backfire in Decision-Making

According to the release, the group’s research indicates that previously-received praise can make an employee recommit to a bad decision rather than admit a mistake and try a new approach.

I’m sure there’s some truth to that – lots of people don’t like to admit mistakes.

I once assembled an IKEA armoire so that it was unquestionably crooked and whenever someone pointed it out, I said, “Well of course it looks like it’s leaning when you’re looking at it from over there – at a distance!”

But my insistence had more to do with me being completely stubborn and less to do with someone complimenting me on a job well done on the nightstand the day before.

Here’s the thing: some people are just plain bad at admitting mistakes. And other people are bad at realizing that their employees are bad decision-makers.

So maybe the best thing to do isn’t necessarily to question the effect of doling out praise or compliments, but just not let the person in question make any more decisions.

After all, isn’t that the Kellogg School’s main message:

“In one study, participants, acting as senior managers of a large investment bank, received feedback about how rational they were before revisiting a hiring decision. After learning that the person they had hired was not working out, they overwhelmingly recommended spending additional time and money on training, rather than simply acknowledging the poor decision and cutting their losses,” reads the release.

In that case, I hope someone keeps inflating the ego. At least someone wins.

Creativity Gets Ugly

In recent months, I’ve noticed several news releases from The Creative Group. As far as I could tell, they spend their time conducting surveys on a variety of mission-critical business topics like “Off-The-Wall Job-Hunting Tactics” and “Wacky Behavior at Company Events.”

Sample results? “More than half (52 percent) of marketing executives and one-quarter (26 percent) of advertising executives said they view unusual job-hunting tactics, such as sending a potential employer a shoe "to get a foot in the door," as unprofessional.”

Personally, I find that statistic astounding. And I once emailed my resume to a company with a bullet point that read, “Mange the work-flow of two full-time co-op students,” so I know a thing or two about being unprofessional.

Today, The Creative Group took it to a whole new level:

“OFFICE PRANKS FOR APRIL FOOLS' DAY?: They May Be No Joking Matter, Survey Suggests.”

According to the release, “Seven out of 10 (71 percent) marketing executives polled by The Creative Group consider April Fools' jokes unsuitable for the office. The responses were more evenly split among advertising executives, with about half (51 percent) finding workplace pranks appropriate versus 45 percent who gave a thumbs down.”

I find it kind of alarming that more than half of marketing executives can tolerate receiving a shoe in the mail from someone they don’t know, but 71% of them think “whoopee cushions in [yes, in] their coworkers' chair” is “unsuitable.”

Perhaps what’s worse is that on the advertising side, 4% of respondents flat out “don’t know” if jokes are OK in the office.

And these aren’t just any respondents, they’re “senior marketing executives randomly selected from the nation's 2,000 largest companies.”

I happen to think that if these executives can’t decide on a joke, then there’s not much hope they can mange a major business decision.

Milk was a bad choice.

When people learn that I work in public relations, they will often accuse me of being “a spin doctor.”

This usually causes me to get the refrain of “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” (by the Spin Doctors) stuck in my head.

And it makes me mad.

“I don’t lie,” I tell them. “I mean, no self respecting public relations professional does.”

And just when I get to the point where people might believe me, something called the Milk Processor Education Program had to go and write a news release headline like this:

Chocolate Milk + Exercise = A Winning Team

That is most certainly an outright lie.

Not like I want to condone kitschy math equations in news releases, but, if anything, it should read "Chocolate Milk + Exercise = Belly Ache."

XO,
Little Miss, Little Miss, Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong

If two students leave Chicago at noon...

Math isn’t really my thing.

Especially word problems. Even the simple ones that only loosely resemble word problems – like when one of my friends asked me, “Are you excited to leave your job in a month?”

And I said, “A month?! Take out the weekends and it’s like, 30 days!”

Maybe Anheuser-Busch is having a similar mental lapse in their recent press release, “Getting More Than a Tan Out of Spring Break.”

“College students on spring break are more apt to spend quality time with their parents or siblings than on a trip to the beach… According to the poll, 70 percent of respondents spent their last spring break with family, compared to 33 percent who headed to the beach or other spring break destination.”

I seriously just pulled out a calculator and checked: 70+33 is definitely 103.

That’s not a valid %. At least I don’t think so – I’m like 99% sure about it.

I guess it’s possible that 3% of people go to spring break destinations with their family and they’re counted twice – but the team at Anheuser-Busch should say that.

Otherwise, they just have a different kind of word problem on their hands.

Until Wednesday - A Different PR

If you’re trying to slip into work 10 minutes late, let me tell you what not to do: roll in with an electric blue suitcase.

“Where are you going?!” five people asked me on my way to my desk.

Puerto Rico. My boyfriend and I planned a trip despite the fact that he doesn’t really like the beach and can’t handle the sun. But I left the booking entirely up to him and we were confirmed before Thanksgiving, so I think it’s safe to say he actually wanted to go.

Please note that his actions are in direct contrast to the results of the new “Where’s the Romance?” poll that claims 70% of men wait until “the last minute” to make Valentine’s Day plans. For the record, the poll was commissioned by the one place that will no-doubt be able to accommodate last-minute bookings: Caesars Pocono Resorts.

“Seventy percent of men are waiting until the last minute to make Valentine's Day plans -- they cite lack of time, lack of priority and lack of ideas,” according to the release.

I was originally very smug about my boyfriend’s advance planning. He is obviously chock full of time, priorities and ideas.

And then it occurred to me that despite having booked a trip for Feb. 15, my boyfriend may not have necessarily connected the dates.

“Quick question for you,” I said the other night. “When we planned Puerto Rico, did you know the trip would be around Valentine’s Day?”

“Nope,” He said. “Honestly – I thought we picked the dates because of Presidents Day.”

You can’t really argue with logic like that. Monday is in fact Presidents Day and what better way to celebrate American history than with a trip to the Caribbean?

With that said – please enjoy a weekend full of love, democracy and automobile sales. I’ll be back on Wednesday – probably with a hangover and hopefully with a tan.

xo

Packin' Heat.

One Friday, the girl who sits in front of me at work pointed out that I brought a rather large overnight bag with me for my trip to Philadelphia.

“Are you only staying the weekend?” she asked. “Because it looks like you have a lot of stuff!”

Of course I didn’t tell her this, but the reason why I had so much stuff was because I had actually packed a space heater in my duffle bag.

And there’s a very simple explanation as to why I did that: my boyfriend asked me to.

He and his two roommates had entered into some sort of pact that winter and decided not to use the main heating system in the house. It was November in Pennsylvania and naturally, I was unhappy with this arrangement.

“Can’t you just turn the heat on?”

“NO!” he insisted. “We’re not turning the heat on this winter.”

“Why not?”

“We’re living off the grid,” he told me.

(For the record, this also happens to be the reason he and his roommates don’t own a microwave. I still can’t tell if he’s joking).

“Well can’t you just turn the heat on when I’m there?” I asked.

“Off the grid!” he repeated. “But you can bring your own heater if you want.”

And so that's the story of how I came to transport an electric space heater across state lines.

I’m sure that sounds absolutely insane, but consider this: according to Bryant Heating & Cooling Systems' first annual Comfort Survey, “81 percent of respondents typically aren't always comfortable with the temperature indoors during winter.” Perhaps what’s more alarming is that I suspect a vast majority of those people are actually using their heating systems.

“When the weather outside is frightful this winter, many people may not find the environment indoors to be delightful,” reads the release. “By surveying more than 1,400 people online, Bryant explored the fine line people walk when attempting to manage their comfort.”

I can vouch for that "fine line." It literally runs all the way from New York City to Philadelphia.

Books are dangerous.

My mother used to joke that I could hurt myself doing just about anything.

She’s right. I once put on hand lotion before attempting to do a triceps dip on my coffee table and I slipped right off the edge and hit the back of my head on the way down.

“Do you have a concussion?” my mother asked, clearly more annoyed than concerned.

She had to ask me things like that a lot while I was growing up and I’m sure the trip to the emergency room was not her proudest moment as a parent.

But at least – at least – I'm not like 80% of college students who claim to have physically hurt themselves on a text book.

According to a new study conducted by Zogby International on behalf of CafeScribe.com, “Many of the 600 students surveyed reported potentially serious health issues as the result of buying, reading, carrying, or using a textbook…”

It seems I really lucked out. I bought textbooks all through college and I never managed to injure myself on them.

Not even when I put them on my coffee table.

Every family has traditions.

For instance, on Christmas Eve, my family moves dinner tables to polka music to clear the room for the rest of the night’s festivities, which include a live reenactment of the nativity, complete with costumes and props.

On Easter, we buy a half-pound of butter that has been sculpted into the shape of a lamb and no one is allowed to eat it.

And on the 4th of July, we pair up and have a “sudden death egg toss” competition in the parking lot across the street from my aunt’s house.

“Eggs!?” my friends always say. “Why can’t you just throw water balloons?”

Um, because we don’t have time for filling up balloons. We have mock bocce courts to set up with picnic table benches and 2x4’s in the neighbor’s yard. And there are at least 30 boxes of sparklers to use before it gets dark. And at some point, someone - usually an adult - has to spill something on me.

These things take time. Civilization and water balloons, take note.

Plus, we’re busy enjoying each other’s company – as evidenced by this real conversation I had with my cousin at the egg toss line two years ago:

My cousin: So are you seeing any hot guys?
Me: No, not so much.
My cousin: Oh. I just met the hottest guy the other night. He was like, "Hey Sexy, you want to feed me one of those gravy fries and put a little sugar on the side for me?"

At the time, I was just glad she was speaking to me because a few minutes before she heard my mother and me laughing and shouted at the back of my head, "Hello to you too! Don't think I can't hear you two laughing! I have ears like a hawk!"

To which my mother responded under her breath, "Doesn't she know it's 'eyes like a hawk'? At least doesn't she know hawks don't have ears?"

I don’t know if hawks have ears or not, but we laughed again, this time actually at my cousin’s expense and she didn’t seem to notice, so I don’t think the hawk-like ears assertion was accurate.

Perhaps the United Egg Producers would be interested in taking on these issues. It seems they have time on their hands since they recently issued a press release with the headline “Are Free Range Birds Happier? Maybe Not!”

While the pressures of free range hens vs. modern caged hens and the measurement of “corticosterone, a hormone produced in response to stress or fear,” in eggs must certainly be an enthralling topic, I think an anthropological field trip to my family’s picnic next July would yield much more interesting results.

For instance, they could measure my stress level as my cousin approaches, especially while holding an egg.

It would be like their existing study, but with people. And the eggs would be thrown.

It would be fun.

Then again, “Maybe Not!”