Well that's the pot calling the kettle black.

So the Pope’s here.

And maybe some people seem to be taking it a little too seriously.

“American Life League warns pro-abortion Catholic politicians not to politicize the Eucharist in a nation-wide, full page message addressed to Pope Benedict XVI. On April 17, Pope Benedict XVI will celebrate Mass in Washington, DC where pro-abortion Catholic politicians are expected to attempt to receive communion,” reads the release issued by American Life League.

Yes, let’s make sure we don’t politicize the event.

"Pro-abortion Catholics, who are not really Catholics at all, are opportunists of the worse sort. It would not surprise us at all if they seek to validate their position by exploiting the Holy Father's visit by receiving Holy Communion from the pope," said Judie Brown, president of American Life League.

Nothing like a news release to celebrate being opportunistic and exploitative.

Stop, Drop and Roll

A few summers ago, I dragged my mother and my brother to an event called the “Cabbage Hill Cabbage Roll Festival” in Honey Pot, Pa.

Simply put, people paid $1 to purchase a head of cabbage and roll it down a plastic tarp that was duct-tapped to Market Street.

The Honey Pot Fire Co. came up with the idea to raise money. Apparently their $13,000 annual budget just wasn’t cutting it that year.

So we went. And it was pretty unbelievable – but I chalked it all up to the kind of event that could only happen in small town Pennsylvania.

So imagine my surprise when I found out that Quaker was copping our Honey Pot style:

“On Your Mark ... Get Grits ... Roll!,” reads the recent news release headline.

“Hundreds of people of all ages will travel to show their "true grit" by competing in the 23rd annual "Quaker Instant Grits Roll" at the World Grits Festival in St. George, S.C. Competitors prepare all year for a mere 10 seconds to roll in a baby pool filled with Quaker(R) Instant Grits. Contestants weigh in before and after their roll and the one with the most grits adhering to him or her wins,” according to the release.

Oh please. No one who issues a news release about an event with a corporate sponsor is allowed to brag about "true grit."

That distinction belongs solely to the heroes who entered in the Honey Pot “Cole Slawlom” shopping cart race.

No release required.

Attn: Anyone who needs a book idea

Before my boyfriend visited my parents’ house for Easter, I warned him that some members of my family can harbor unorthodox views.

I used the time that my father decided that the future of warfare would involve national space programs “nudging” comets so that they were on a collision path with enemy territory as an example.

“You’re kidding,” my boyfriend said.

But I assured him I was not – comet missiles are only a matter of time, as far as my father was concerned.

And if on the off-chance that doesn’t happen, I think it would make for an excellent science fiction book. They write about all kinds of junk these days, like “an ascetic tribe of half-animal beings chances upon a device with the power to rewrite time and erase history, and sets off across a post-apocalyptic America to find a way to destroy it.”

That plot was included in a news release issued by first-time novelist Ben Goodridge – who by the way – happens to be “on a crusade,” according to the release headline.

Against what, I’m not sure. But I hope the fight involves comets.