Stop, Drop and Roll

A few summers ago, I dragged my mother and my brother to an event called the “Cabbage Hill Cabbage Roll Festival” in Honey Pot, Pa.

Simply put, people paid $1 to purchase a head of cabbage and roll it down a plastic tarp that was duct-tapped to Market Street.

The Honey Pot Fire Co. came up with the idea to raise money. Apparently their $13,000 annual budget just wasn’t cutting it that year.

So we went. And it was pretty unbelievable – but I chalked it all up to the kind of event that could only happen in small town Pennsylvania.

So imagine my surprise when I found out that Quaker was copping our Honey Pot style:

“On Your Mark ... Get Grits ... Roll!,” reads the recent news release headline.

“Hundreds of people of all ages will travel to show their "true grit" by competing in the 23rd annual "Quaker Instant Grits Roll" at the World Grits Festival in St. George, S.C. Competitors prepare all year for a mere 10 seconds to roll in a baby pool filled with Quaker(R) Instant Grits. Contestants weigh in before and after their roll and the one with the most grits adhering to him or her wins,” according to the release.

Oh please. No one who issues a news release about an event with a corporate sponsor is allowed to brag about "true grit."

That distinction belongs solely to the heroes who entered in the Honey Pot “Cole Slawlom” shopping cart race.

No release required.