One more reason to eat pizza with crushed red pepper.

A few weeks ago, my roommate, an editor at a fashion magazine, left a duffle bag full of beauty products in my bedroom with a note to “Enjoy!”

“Are you offended?” one of my friends asked me.

Offended?! The way I see it, six different brands of self-tanner never hurt anyone. And how could someone get offended by a little box of Lunar Dust when it presumably came all the way from Outer Space to coat me in a layer of “dramatic radiance.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I told her. “I was offended freshman year when that girl from our dorm stopped me on the elevator and asked me if she could pluck my eyebrows. And I was offended when I was foundation shopping at M.A.C and the salesgirl took one look at my face and decided that I needed the “full coverage” formula. And I was offended last week when my neighbor asked me how tall I was when I was walking out of my apartment.”

Trust me. This little bag of eyeliner and moisturizer was nothing. And to prove it, I reverted to the mentality of a six-year old and applied every single product to my face that very night.

“Next time you visit, I’ll give you what I don’t use,” I offered my friend.

One of the things that ended up in her care package was a lip plumper. Cute as it sounded, I figured I didn’t need it because a woman at a gas station once asked me if I got lip injections. Sadly, it was not the first time I had to field that question and I assumed my lips were plenty plumpy if strangers have brought it to my attention more than once.

Now, thanks to the press release, “Don't Pout About Irritated Lips: Dermatologists Can Offer Top Tips to Help Keep Lips in Tip-Top Shape” from the American Academy of Dermatology, I don't think I should give the lip plumper to anyone.

"Lip plumpers often contain chemicals used to intentionally irritate the lips and make them appear fuller, such as capsaicin (derived from chili peppers), mint, or menthol, among others," explained dermatologist Margaret E. Parsons, MD, FAAD, assistant clinical professor of dermatology at the University of California at Davis.

Is this really what the world is coming to? Tip-Top Lip Tips in our news releases and capsaicin in our makeup?

If so, I am taking my Lunar Dust and hightailing it right to Outer Space – dramatically. And radiantly.