Guac-a-what did you say?!

At our family’s Christmas get-together last year, my aunt brought homemade guacamole.

My grandmother saw it on the table and asked me, “What’s that?!”

“It’s guacamole,” I told her.

“What’s it called?!” she asked again.

“Guacamole.”

“What?!”

“It’s dip,” I finally told her.

It’s too bad that the guy who once spent twenty minutes of my lunch hour explaining his guacamole recipe in detail wasn’t around to list the ingredients for her: “Avocados. Tomatoes. Onions. Cilantro - that’s the secret ingredient. Salt,” he had told me months earlier.

“Do you mix yours by hand?” I asked.

“God, no,” he said, quite seriously. “I use a spoon.”

Armed with that information, I may be able to make my very own guacamole and thus accommodate Dr. Wendy Bazilian’s request for Superbowl party-goers to make “savvy nutritional choices.”

“Gourmet and exciting can also be healthy and nutritious! Add pizzazz with colorful SuperFoods vegetables, innovative low-fat dips and scrumptious finger foods,” reads the release. “You can spruce-up your guacamole and be hip with mini pizzas and tasty baked tortillas chips alongside hit-of-the-party salsa.”

Aside from the fact that a lot of that seemed illogical - I must ask, exactly how can a low-fat dip be innovative?

It seems to be a bit of a stretch.

Unless – of course – maybe it was mixed with some sort of technologically enhanced spoon.