At dinner tonight, my four year old cousin explained how Santa Claus brings gifts to houses that don't have chimneys.

"He comes in through the toilet," she told me.

AirTran Airways may consider incorporating this development into the headline of their news release "Santa Descends Chimneys from China to Sudan."

Or maybe my cousin could help AirTran write next year's Christmas press releases - all three of them.

Their hypothetical Santa visits could use a little more punch, and a lot more toilet:

"Military intelligence confirmed that Santa and his squad stopped in Iraq to visit with U.S. troops. As the world's most experienced aviator, Captain Claus dazzled the country's finest pilots by performing six consecutive barrel rolls and then going from zero to 800 mph in two seconds."

Merry Christmas. And shit.